drunken friend

of all the people
i'd thought wouldn't hit on me
her name topped the list

S-L-G-T-M
eight times I've given my luck
why aren't you famous?

at last! i've finished
buffy the vampire slayer.
netflix is cancelled.

at baby showers
i want to grunt, belch loudly,
grow balls and scratch them

to scare grad students:
mention you're fine with jesus/
may have entered church

last time was easter
but let them think each sunday
you weep for their souls

tell them your parents
speak in tongues; they'll imagine
snakes and miracles

say it's normal; they'll
act as if you're mutating.
my favorite game!

last day of class

they ate all the grapes,
poked the lemon bread i brought
to mollify them

evaluations
distributed, i smiled big,
piled on compliments

they glared -- and if i'm
unloved by fiction writers,
what's left to count on?